Welcome & Bried Introduction to Loving Lifes Imperfections.
Welcome to Loving Life's Imperfections. My name is Amber. A little bit about me to get you started- I celebrate my 20 year wedding anniversay in Dec 2023. We have two children together, my pride and joy in life- my oldest is 19 and just started Basic Training for the Air Force and my youngest is turning 18 and will be graduating both high school and the local technical school for high school students in May 2024. My hobbies include writing (hence the blog), yoga, crochet and sewing, amatuer photography, gardening, and spending time in nature.
Where did I get the name Loving Life's Imperfections? The name for this blog came to me one day about 5 years ago when I first tried blogging. I was at a point in my life where I felt lost, imperfect and unsure of who I was and what I wanted but I knew that I wanted to love life more, just the way it was. Life got busy and I ended up not being able to keep up with everything and my blog. When I decided a few weeks ago to start blogging again, I was suprized to see that my initial name and website were still avaiable so I decided to relaunch. This name is still the perfect name for my blog and my life in general.
Lt's go back a few years ago to when I remember doing a meditation one day on a lunch break at work while hiding in my car. I broke down into tears when the words from the guided meditation unexpectedly told me "I am worthy of love" and it dawned on me that my subconcious was telling me I was unworthy of love, I was unworthy of happiness and I would never be worthy until I became what everyone else expected of me. Where did those thoughts and feelings come from and how long had they been rattling around in my head without me realizing? I wasn't entirely sure but I knew that was not true. But I realized that I was struggling with inner conflict between what eveeryone else though I should or shouldn't be doing and what I knew deep inside that I should be doing. I had spent more years than I could count trying to bury what I wanted from my life for what everyone else expected of me and that is what must have lead me to feel like I was falling short and unworthy of anything good in my life because I wasn't THEIR perfect picture of me.
Mind you it's not that I'm bad person or that what others expect of me was necessarily bad. But we all see and hear it- the judgements of others weither they are meant to put us down or just said without thinking especially after we have kids. You let your kids eat candy? Your 3 year old is drinking caffeine? Why aren't your kids in sports or after school clubs? How can you leave your kids and go to work, aren't you scared who is raising them when you aren't there? Or how can you afford to stay home, if you worked then you would be able to afford a new car. Why don't you go to church every Sunday or why do you go to THAT church? You should grow your own food, it's better for you. The opinions are never ending. The judgements are never ending.
One day I just had enough. I was done feeling unworthy of being happy in my life. Yes, my life was still imperfect but I started to embrace what I thought were my imperfections and love myself anyways. Some days and months have been better than others. Sometimes I do a great job of loving who I am and then other times I fall back into old habits of stressing that I'm not enough or not where I think I should be or where others tell me I should be and I have to remind myself that everything is ok and I am safe being who I am, authenically who I am. Not who others want me to be- that had me feeling lost. But when I am more connected with my authentic, true self and let that be my guide in life then I feel at home with who I am, shortcomings, imperfections and all. I believe we feel lost and unworthy when we lose track of who we are inside, deep inside. Each of us is born with a divine energy, our intuition, higher self or soul. That divine energy holds on the answers to who we truely are and what we are here to do. Turning inward and getting in touch or back in touch with that divine energy helps us feel at home in our lives. And to me that is the best feeling ever- feeling at home and comfortable with who I am. At home and loved unconditionally, no matter what, even when I'm not where I want to be in life.
This blog is to share with you some of the things that I have found to be helpful in embracing my imperfections and loving myself for my authentic self, even the parts of me that no one else knows. Feeling lost, disconnected an unworth is not someplace we need to stay. I believe that deep inside all of us there is a divine energy that guides us and helps us in our life if we can just turn inward and learn to get in tough with it. This blog is spiritual in nature, but not tied to any religion because I believe the divine energy inside us is not religion specific and available to anyone no matter what religion you may or may not currently or previously have been affiliated with.
What the world needs is more love and acceptance and less judgement and trying to make everyone fit into this idea of "perfect". Loving ourselves just as we are, for the unique views and values we bring with us, is so important to make this world a better place. Our individuality can bring joy instead of feeling alone and unworthy. When we stop trying to put ourselves last to make others happy then we become happier, more loving and contribute so much more to the world around us then just doing what others think we should. Turn inward to your intuation and let that guide you on your journey of discovering, or rediscoverying, who you are meant to be.
May this affirmation help you on your journey. "I am loved and accepted exaxctly as I am. Unconditional love is my greatest gift to myself andthose I love. I no longer wait to be perfect to love myself. I love me and life loves me."
Namaste and have a wonderful day!
Amber
