When I sent off my first-born son for Air Force Basic Military Training (BMT), I wasn't quite sure what to expect. I just knew that it would be a long time before I would see my 19-year-old son again and when I did he would be all grown up and the thought just made me cry!
Here are some tips and things I wish I would have known when I sent him off. I am writing this about 8 months after he left for basic training as I thought it might be helpful for other first-time parents. Note: technically they are not referred to as Airman until the day they graduate BMT but to make it easier I'll refer to them as Airman throughout this post.
What to Send with Them - Basically nothing personal or large. They will be allowed to take a small bag, a backpack is a great option, with a set of civilian clothes and some basic essential personal care items. They will receive a list of acceptable things to take from their recruiter- have them stick with that list. The less they take with them the better. All clothing and supplies will be provided for them once they arrive on base. They leave personal items in a storage room, locked, for the duration of their stay. They will have a small desk drawer for personal items like pictures, envelops and paper for sending letters. Do not send food items as food is strictly controlled for the 7.5 weeks of BMT.
Day of Departure- This is usually the last time you see your child until BMT graduation in 7.5 weeks (though I did hear of a family following their child to the airport & then from the airport to base for BMT but you don't get the chance to hang out with them, just see them from the distance).
This was a rough one for me. My oldest child leaving home for the first time and I knew that I would not hear from him frequently for the next several weeks. Make sure you arrive on time, you can stay with your child for the start of the meeting. We didn't hang out too long waiting around because we weren't sure what to expect and I was an emotional wreck. There weren't many families there when we arrived, just a few recruits hanging out waiting for the meeting to start. We took a few pictures with our son & then were on our way. Definitely take tissues with you if you think you are going to cry. It was a silent, emotional ride back home minus our son.
Calls - Know that you won't get many phone calls during the 7.5 weeks of training. You will NOT get text messages or emails. This was the HARDEST thing by far for me when my son entered BMT. I was used to my son living at home and getting hugs and talking to him DAILY! Phones are taken away from your child when they arrive on base. They are allowed to call quickly to let you know that they have arrived safely, then again a day or two later to give you their address so you can write. Other than that I only received maybe three phone calls TOTAL the entire time my son was in training, aside from the one phone call I missed due to not having cell service. When they call those calls are timed and they are only allowed to call ONE person, typically their mom or dad. If your child is there during holidays (my son was there for both Thanksgiving AND Christmas) then you should receive slightly longer calls on those days (ours were 30 min instead of 10-15 min), which is nice, but the calls are still timed.
I recommend you warn everyone ahead of time that when your child calls you WILL drop everything to answer that call. You can't call your child back & they do not get another chance to call, though they can call the next person on their contact list should you not be able to answer. I was working full time managing a team of 15 people remotely and they all knew that if my son called & we were in a meeting that meeting was OVER! I missed one call from my son and I cried about it for days! My husband still laughs at me at how hard I took missing his call. He called his sister instead but she was not at all good at relaying information from him- she told me he was likely going to have to have mouth surgery but couldn't tell me anything more than that and I had to wait until his next call to get more information. Turns out he was fine but did have to have a jaw biopsy on an unusual growth- most Airman do NOT have to have this done. Just know that their medical information cannot be disclosed to you without your child's permission as they are adults.
Mail- Writing will be your primary mode of communication- your second call should be followed by a text message with a picture of the address to send all mail to. Be prepared ahead of time with plenty of paper, envelopes and stamps. I had a few supplies when my son left but quickly found myself on Amazon purchasing needed supplies so I could write to him pretty much every day. Others in our house wrote as well, just not as frequently. Stickers can be fun additions to envelops- look for ones with positive quotes and words of encouragement. I would have all family members write a letter & then send them together is a larger envelope to save on postage.
It is important to remember that you don't want to send any big care packages. ALL packages must be opened in front of the trainer and any items that they are not allowed will be confiscated. Food cannot be sent, large items cannot be kept in the barracks. Stick to letters and small pictures that can be kept in a small desk drawer, the only personal storage they are allowed during BMT. Once your Airman has graduated and moved to his or her next base there will not be restrictions on what you can send. Wait until then to send them their favorite snack, gifts or decorations for their room.
Airman ARE given the chance to write home and will have access to paper, envelopes and stamps. One of the first letters you receive should have the forms you need to take with you if you are going to BMT graduation in person. Don't lose those forms, you will need them to get on base. Unfortunately, I only received two letters the entire time my son was at BMT even though he claims he wrote me way more often then that & I just never received them. I don't know where those letters ended up at- if someone else received them instead of me please send them my way! I watched the mail EVERY DAY and got nothing after the first two he sent. I am still hoping those letters some day they find their way to me!
Facebook Support Groups- I did not know this until the very end of BMT but there are support groups on Facebook for family members (typically moms). You can find information on the official BMT Facebook group for all events on base. There are also Facebook groups where other moms can post updates they get from their kids and get to know each other and support each other through missing their Airman. You can build connections and then meet at BMT Graduation or get together before then if you are in the same area. Turns out my son had several good friends in his group from the Phoenix area, near where I live. We could have been best of friends and helped support each other throughout the 7.5 weeks of BMT before we met at graduation instead of just hanging out at graduation. If I had just known where to look!
USAF Basic Military Training FaceBook Group- this is the Facebook group that I joined. They post all of the information you need for schedules for BMT Graduation along with pictures and events that happen during BMT. During the holidays they highlighted videos of Airman saying Happy Holidays to their families.
USAF BMT 320th TRS Facebook Group- this was the group I wish I had joined. My son was in the 320th TRS, a Gator (each TRS group has a mascot). If you search Facebook for "ASAF BMT" & the TRS group that you will mail your child's letters to, there are a bunch of these groups on Facebook. You just have to find the one for your child's TRS group.
Aim High Air Force App- This app is by the US Air Force Recruiting Service. You will need to fill out a little bit of information but this is where you can look for pictures of your Airman during BMT. BMT has photographers that go from group to group taking pictures of events they participate in so you can get a good idea of life during BMT. Pictures will be uploaded for specific events and are located by the group your Airman is part of. I probably checked that thing several times a day, scouring each picture looking for my son's face. That's when I learned that most Airman look alike and there were several times I really had to look hard to decide if it was my son or not. The pictures are fun to look through & help you feel connected when you aren't hearing from them very often. You get an idea of what your child goes through while in BMT with pictures starting on day one with hair cuts & equipment handouts, early morning PT, weapons training, drills, etc. All Airman receive a portable drive with a copy of all pictures and even videos from the time they are in BMT though they don't have access to see them while they are there.
Here are a few of the pictures I pulled from the app from my son's group.
Basically when your Airman leaves for BMT you can expect a few sporadic calls at the mercy of your child's trainer and some handwritten letters, depending on how good your child is at writing. You will have to satisfy your desire to communicate by reaching out to other moms/dads who are active on Facebook groups and by writing yourself as often as you can. Thank goodness BMT is currently only 7.5 weeks long and you will see your son or daughter again soon. Just know that they will grow into an amazing adult and mature so fast in those 7.5 weeks. You will hardly recognize them when you see them at graduation, and they will have changed in ways you can't anticipate ahead of time!
Once BMT Air Force Basic Military Training is complete then they graduate & move on to tech school for additional training. Tech school still has some restrictions, but they can call and text when they want and you can send packages and even visit them.
During BMT training is a great time to prepare for BMT Graduation, collect some clothes, banners and yard signs to declare your pride in your child!
I will soon be posting info on BMT Graduation- 10 tips on what to expect & what not to do, based on my experience. Watch for that to come out soon!
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